


Does he love me?

by KiraKpop



Category: Kpop - Fandom, SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Bullying, Chaptered, Eventual Smut, M/M, Romance, Sad, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-17
Updated: 2016-12-16
Packaged: 2018-09-09 03:08:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8873455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KiraKpop/pseuds/KiraKpop
Summary: Two boys who live in very different households. Two boys who have very different lives. But these two boys have more in common then they think.
S.coups is madly in love with Jeonghan... but doesn't have any clue how to express his love. Instead, he takes the anger, the anger that has been building up inside him for years, out on Jeonghan.
They both are mentally exhauted with their own separate yet equally stressful lives- although Seungcheol is surrounded by "Friends," he's desparately lonely. His parents have always compared him to his older brother, Mingyu, and he never feels like he can meet their standards.
Jeonghan has been living in a orphanage his entire life- as the oldest, he takes responsibility to care for the young ones, since the owner of the orphanage is a neglectful alcoholic. He is 17 and has not yet been adopted.
Follow these two boys as they live out their everyday lives- and watch how everything changes before their very eyes.





	1. The Tormentor

JEONGHAN'S POV

I felt the rough feeling of metal etch into my skin as I was blatantly shoved against the locker. Pain shot down my left arm and I grimaced, instinctively grabbing my shoulder as if I were trying to protect myself. Seungcheol leaned closer... I blinked carefully, and going against my instinct, I looked up. But I had no time to glare at my attacker, as his arm came down against the locker at the speed of light, right next to my head. I slightly jumped and squeezed my eyes shut. It was happening again. The torment that I was forced to endure day after day. My fists clenched, and I wanted to run- but I knew the consequences would be worse if I tried to escape his grasp. I felt his hot breath against my neck as he leaned closer to me, the mocking laughter of his cronies in the background. Humiliation flooded throughout my body.

"Hey, pretty boy," Seungcheol said, moving a strip of my long hair out of my face. "Did I say you could close your eyes?" Seungcheol chuckled. "Look at me."

Trembling, I slowly opened my eyes and looked up into the face of my perpretrator. Glossy black hair, deep brown eyes, and a smirk that made my heart beat ten miles a minute. How could someone so stunning be so truly horrible?

I felt his big hand grip my face, and he lifted my chin so that I was looking directly up at him.

"So, are you sure you don't have anything for me?" He asked, grinning evilly and tightening his grip on my face with every passing moment.

My face contorted into one of wry dissappointment. I knew there was no way out of this situation. Slowly, I took a couple dollar bills out of my pocket and handed them over to him. There goes yet another meal... he was the richest kid in school, but he just wanted to take the money from me out of spite. To see me become even more humiliated then I already was.

He released my chin and took the dollar bills from me. I thought he was just going to slip the money in his backpack and walk away, but suddenly, without any warning, he began to rip the dollar bills into tiny little pieces. I gaped at him, seeing him throw the remnants of money on the floor. He smirked as he saw my bewildered expression. He wasted perfectly good money... money that I needed more then he would ever know. Tears welled up in my eyes, anger bursting in my chest.

He turned around to walk away with his friends after the humiliating act, laughing and high fiving his cronies, not sparing me a second glance.

I wanted to call out to him. Scream to him that he was just a little rich kid who didn't know the struggles of real life... The struggle of needing money to eat, to live. He didn't know anything. 

But I stayed silent.

Nothing good would come out of taking my anger out on him. I'd just be provoking him, asking him to harass me more.

And even if they couldn't see me, I had to set an example for my Dongsaeng's back at the orphanage. 

The orphanage...

I leaned against the locker, getting swept up in memories. For my entire life, I've lived at an all boys orphanage. I never had the chance to know my parents, and I'm not sure if I ever want to. They'd dropped me off when I was 6 months old, clearly either too careless or financially challenged to take care of a child that they didn't want in the first place. The owner of the orphanage was nothing but neglectful. He only cared about his alcohol, rather then giving us comfortable life until we got adopted. 

So I was the "Mother" of the younger children- they had no real parents, so I had to step in. Pampering them, washing the dishes, cooking the meals, doing the laundry, helping them with homework, and tucking them into bed- these sounded like chores, but it made me feel relieved that I could at least do something for these children who haven't had any other good memories. I was going to do my best to make them feel content in the orphanage until they were adopted.

And money was scarce, so I had to be wise about how I spent it. I had a part time job as a cashier, but it simply wasn't enough. I knew that soon I would have to look for a job that paid more.

I was suddenly brought of of my pitiful thoughts as the bell rung loudly, signaling for lunch. Knowing that there was no way I could get food without money, I made my way to the bathroom. Looks like it was going to be another lunch spent hungry in the dirty restroom stalls. 

 

SEUNGCHEOL'S POV:

He was beautiful. His face resonated in my mind. Even when he was trembling, fear evident on his beautiful face, his eyes squeezed shut, his fists clenched- he was beautiful. 

But there was no way that I could love a man. 

There's no way that my parents would approve. I know what they would say. I know what they would do. And it wouldn't be pretty.

They would yell. They would scream, ask me why I was going against the word of God, ask me why I hate them, why I WANT to make their lives even more miserable... Maybe even raise a hand against me. But worst of all, they would compare me. Compare me to my older brother, Mingyu. 

My older brother. He's 22 years old, and owns one of the biggest electronics companies in the world. He's tall, handsome, intelligent... And straight.

And my parents very obviously loved him more then they loved me.

Whatever I did, however I did things, they would find some way to compare me to him. To ask me, "Why can't you be more like Mingyu?" I scoffed just thinking about it. Because mother, father, I'M NOT MINGYU! 

I was swept out of my thoughts as a finger poked me. I looked over, and realized that it was my friend, Vernon, trying to get my attention. 

"Yo Coups, why aren't ya eating? Too busy thinking about what you did to pretty boy?" Vernon started laughing. "His expression was priceless!" I ignored him. Instead, the beautiful man popped into my head once more.

Jeonghan. Did he have lunch? I ripped up his money, didn't I? Guilt flooded through my body, thinking about his pained expression as I threw the pieces of money on the floor right in front of his eyes. 

I grabbed a granola bar from my plate. "Gotta go to the bathroom," I said, short and quickly, and got up from the lunch table. I looked back at Vernon's confused face. "Don't follow me." I commanded. Leaving the lunch table, I took quick strides to the nearest bathroom outside the cafeteria. 

The nearest bathroom was near the lockers- the ones I had shoved Jeonghan up against. I thought of how close I got to him... How close I got to those pink, beautiful lips... But I knew that Jeonghan hated me. Ever since the day I started harassing him, he's been terribly frightened even by my presence. I wished I could take back everything that I've done to him, but it's too late now. I can't do a 360 change in my personality right in front of my friends. I couldn't risk my parents finding out that I'd befriended a poor, low class boy. Not to mention that I was in love with him.

I pushed open the door to the bathroom. Graffiti covered the walls, and the sink faucet was gently dripping water. I immediately heard sniffling in the farthest stall, and I had no doubt about who was huddled in there.

I slowly approached the stall and looked through the crack. I saw a glimpse of long blonde hair, and I immediately knew it was Jeonghan. Swiftly, I slipped the granola bar under the stall and heard him gasp slightly. Then, without looking back, I rushed out of the bathroom and ran down the halls.

He couldn't know it was me. I loved him, but he couldn't know. It wouldn't be good for either of us...

 

JEONGHANS POV 

I gasped as someone slid something under the stall, without any warning. Not a second had passed, and the person who was just there was gone. I heard the bathroom door creak closed. 

Confusion filled my mind. I stood up and moved closer. I picked it up, and was surprised to see that it was a granola bar. I turned it around, inspecting it. Did someone do something to it? Was it safe to eat? Who... who was just in the bathroom a moment ago? 

Pushing those thoughts aside, I opened the wrapper and greedily munched down on it. It didn't matter who, or why, all that mattered was that I was hungry, and I was given the opportunity to eat. So I gratefully took that opportunity. 

After lunch, school droned on as usual. Another boring day. Classes zoomed by, the bell rang a couple times, and finally I had made it to my last class. Geometry.

Our teacher, Mr. Jeon Wonwoo, was finishing up a textbook page in geometry before the bell rang. I wasn't listening. I stared out the window, thinking of Chan and Jihoon back at the orphanage. School got out earlier for them, so they always came home before I did. And I always worried that something was going to happen to them while I was gone.

Just then, I snapped out of my thoughts as the bell rang loudly, signaling for dismissal. 

"That's all for today. Have a good Winter Break," Mr. Jeon said, with a warm smile on his face. Kids swarmed out of the classroom. After the class emptied out, I got up from my chair and held my worn down backpack. I was walking down the aisles between desks when Mr. Jeon called out to me.

"Jeonghan, could you come to my desk for a moment?" 

Shocked, I stuttered my response. "U-uh yes sir." I walked up to his desk, shifting weight from foot to foot. "What is it, sir?" 

He closed his textbook, sighed, and looked at me. I noticed his eyes showed hints of worry. "Jeonghan, lately you've been even more distracted then usual. Is everything alright?"

Oh. Not again. A teacher pretending to care. I faked a smile, standing up straight and looking directly at him. "I'm fine, Mr. Jeon. Thank you for thinking of me."

He clasped his hands together and I could tell he didn't believe me. But he didn't say another word about the matter. "Alright. Have a good day Jeonghan." 

"You too, sir." I immediately rushed out of the classroom, sighing in relief as I stood in the hallway. I wasn't fine- but there was no way I could tell the school staff that. There was nothing they could do for me. And I couldn't leave Chan, Jihoon, and the others kids all by themselves at the orphanage. 

Taking one last look into the geometry classroom, I began to walk down the crowded hallways. This was one of the worst parts of my school. The small hallways were constantly clogged with people during dismissal - trying to navigate through them was like trying to get past a stampede of angry animals who wanted to be ANYWHERE but there.

I eventually pushed past enough people to make it out of the entrance of the school. I sighed, relieved to be out of the claustrophobic and crowded hallway. I pushed my bangs back from my face and began to walk, following my usual path. 

Until... I heard eerily familiar laughter resonate behind me, dangerously close. I turned around, my bangs flying back into my face. I pushed them away and my eyes widened in fright. Choi Seungcheol and his cronies were walking right in my direction. They hadn't noticed me yet, but I wasn't going to give them a chance to. I was not going to deal with them again today. Without another thought, I took my cue, and began to run as fast as possible. 

After running for a good 5 minutes, I began gasping for breath as I had finally gotten far enough to feel comfortably away from them. I leaned against a wall, trying to catch my breath. I had escaped from another possible encounter with Seungcheol. My only destination now was back to school, or to the orphanage. As much as I didn't want to go back today, I knew it wasn't fair to Chan, Jihoon, and the other youngsters I had to look after.

Without any other dangers in my path, I started walking. Sweat droplets fell down my face and blurred my vision, but I ignored it. The only thing on my mind right now was Chan and Jihoon. I prayed that they were okay.

Once I arrived at the worn down, small orphanage, I immediately noticed something different. Scarily different. The window was broken, and shards of glass along with a broken vodka bottle lay on the dirt. Fear immediately flooded through my veins as I thought of the possibility that someone might have gotten injured. There was no telling when the orphanage owner was going to lash out.

I rushed inside the musty household and gasped at the sight infront of me. Jihoon, the second oldest, (13) was cradling Chan, the youngest. (Age 5.) Chan had an extremely large and noticeable welt on the side of his forehead, and blood was lightly pouring down his cheek. Tears stained his face and he clung onto Jihoon. The owner was nowhere in sight, but it was obvious that he had something to do with this situation.

I ran over to them as they huddled in the corner.

"What happened, Jihoon?" I said, worry evident in my shaky voice. Chan's eyes were tightly closed, but he heard my voice. Without opening his eyes, he reached his small hand out to me. I kneeled down and held his hand as he cuddled into Jihoon.

Jihoon was trying not to tremble as he comforted Chan with a light rub on his back. "M-Mister drank the whole bottle," Jihoon stuttered, pointing to the broken window. "Chan... he just wanted some food... he's been so hungry, Hyung." Jihoon hiccupped, and tears threatened to fall from his swollen eyes.

"Calm down," I whispered, and sat down next to both of them.

Jihoon nodded. "He, he just went into the hallway, and caught Mister at the wrong time. Mister finished his bottle of vodka and aimed it at Chan, b-but thank goodness only a shard hit him. The rest went through the window. I heard screaming so I rushed out of my room. By then, M-mister had went back to his bedroom and passed out."

Chan began to cry at hearing the story being re-told, and more tears flooded down his already wet face. I stood up and gently took Chan from Jihoon's grasp. I picked him up and held him in my arms, lightly stroking his head. I then looked down at Jihoon, still huddled on the floor.

"Jihoon, I'm going to go get him cleaned up. Thank you for caring for him," I said. "Go to sleep now. You deserve rest."

He just shook his head. "If only I could've protected him," he muttered, and buried his face into his knees.

I sighed deeply, wishing I could comfort Jihoon. But there was nothing more I could do. He was already damaged. God only knows he didn't deserve to be here- but neither did Chan, or me, or any of the other boys that were unwillingly forced to live here until some family came by and decided that they would take them in. It's been seventeen years at this orphanage, and not one family has requested to adopt me. And I knew exactly why. Whenever a family came to visit, I pretended to be cold and distant, knowing very well that no family would want a quiet and introverted teenager. Though I wanted desperately to find a loving and caring family that would take me in, just one thought of my younger dongsaeng's who would have to endure the rage of the owner all by themselves- well, I forbid myself for wishing for such a luxury upon myself. I was no better then the children. They deserved a good life, much more then I did. Life has already branded me with a cruel imprint- but they were still young. They still had time and the chance to live a happy life. That's the thought that kept me going day to day.

I made my way down the hall and walked to the bathroom with a crying Chan in my arms. "Don't cry, darling," I whispered, trying to soothe him with calming words. "You'll be alright. I'll protect you from now on." Chan sniffled and snuggled into my chest, grabbing a piece of my shirt. Though he didn't say anything, I knew he had calmed down. And although he was still a bit jittery with fright, he ceased his weeping the moment I consoled him.

I sat him down on the toilet and took out disinfecting wipes from the cabinet. Unwrapping the pack, I slowly wiped it on the welt, cleaning up the dried blood. Chan winced, but didn't say anything. I didn't say a word either. After cleaning up his wound and wrapping it with a bandage, I slowly looked at him. He looked back at me, his once bright eyes now filled with pain and suffering. He was too young to endure this. I saw the distraught look that shone in his eyes, the sadness, the loneliness. I wondered, even at his young age, if he could see the same things in mine. We didn't say a word, just waited there, for the longest time, looking at each other. I suddenly moved forward and embraced him.

"Everything will be okay." I whispered in a firm voice, hugging his small body against mine. I wasn't sure if I was trying to convince him... Or convince myself. 

He paused for a moment, but finally whispered, "I believe you, Hyung."

I nodded. "Off to bed now, Chan." I kissed his forehead, and he gave me one last look with those pained eyes of his. Then, without another word, he scampered off to his own room.

I didn't leave the restroom for the longest time. I stood at the sink, looking at myself in the mirror, wishing I had someone to console my pain. What had my life become?

I pulled my light blonde hair out of my ponytail, and watched as it came down in light waves and framed my face. I looked perfectly normal, so why was my life the exact opposite? Why was this world so cruel? 

Anger bubbled up inside me. I hate Mister, the owner of the orphanage, for torturing and paining the children that just wanted a loving home and family. I hate my parents, for leaving me on the doorstep of this orphanage when I was a mere 6 months old, leaving me to get picked up by an abusive home.

I hate Choi Seungcheol, that snotty, rich bastard, thinking he can get away with anything in life. He didn't have a care in the world, but simply liked to torment others to make his life more interesting. What about my life? What about my feelings? What about me?

I stood there and gazed into the mirror once again, realizing that I was stooping to a new low. I was pitying myself. Shaking my head, I forced myself out of the bathroom, and turned off the lights.

As I made my way to my own small, enclosed room in the darkness, I couldn't help but think about whether God truly existed or not.


	2. From Afar

JEONGHANS POV

I woke up to the feeling of someone curled beside me, gripping my arm. Opening my tired eyes, I craned my neck to look down at the sight before me. Chan was peacefully sleeping, his small body lay in a fetal position against mine. He must've crawled into my bed last night while I was sleeping. Not that I minded... he needed companionship after what had happened to him.

Still tired, I lay my head back against my soft pillow, and my eyes began to close... but just as soon, they shot back open. Though my mind was still foggy from waking up, I immediately realized that it was Saturday. Saturday meant my part time job. I quickly sat up in my bed, and Chan unintentionally rolled over and moved to the edge. Startled awake, he gripped the sheets and pulled himself back in the middle.

"H-Hyung?" Chan said, his voice groggy and his eyes red. He sat up, wiped his eyes, and then looked at me with a confused expression.

"Sorry for waking you," I whispered as I pulled the covers away and got out of bed. "Go back to sleep." I stroked his head, his soft hair felt strangely comforting to me.

He ignored me, and instead scooted accross the bed so he could be closer to me. "Where are you going?" He inquired, suddenly wide awake.

"Part time job," I replied. "I'll bring you a snack." I smiled and ruffled his hair once more.

"R-really?" He said, beaming with excitement. "T-thank you Hyung!"

I leaned over and kissed his forehead. "Mister is probably too hung-over to do anything, but if something happens, you know that you can call me. And go to Jihoon, too. Okay? Promise me."

"Okay... I love you." He giggled, grinning up at me. I sighed, and wondered what such a beautiful kid did to deserve to live life in a filthy hole like this. I wish I could give him a better life. I just prayed, with all my heart, that he would end up with a family who would cherish him forever.

"I love you too," I replied, smiling at him.

After my interactions with Chan, I promptly got ready to go to my part time job. I changed into my uniform and tied my blonde hair back into a tight ponytail. After taking the time to make myself look presentable, I grabbed a bag containing my cellphone and schoolwork, and headed out of the orphanage. Although I was a bit worried for the children, I knew that as long as Mister still had alcohol in his system, there'd be no way he would have the energy to get out of bed or inflict any harm. Plus, I knew Jihoon would notify me almost immediately if something were to happen.

I shuffled out the door, making my way down the street. It certainly wasn't a long walk- the orphanage was conveniently located a few blocks away from my part time job. As I walked, I felt the sudden change in temperature from yesterday. Instead of the sun beating down on my tired shoulders, it was chilly and the slighest bit of wind brushed past my face. Christmas was coming soon- and that meant cold weather, snow, and wind chills. But on the bright side, Christmas meant winter break. I knew there wouldn't be any presents waiting for me back at the orphanage, but I'd use the break as an opportunity to find a job that paid a lot more then the one I was currently at. And it wouldn't hurt to have better hours.

When I arrived at the convenience store, it was still bright and early. 6 AM on the dot. I strode into the store and looked around- of course, nobody was here yet. I put my stuff behind the counter and started unpacking my bag. Since nobody was here, I'd take the opportunity to finish some schoolwork that was due the week back from winter break.

The moment I began writing on the paper, the back doors abruptly slammed open. Startled, I rapidly turned my head to look behind me. There stood the manager of the store- a small, plump man. Somehow, he always knew how to make his presence known.

"G-Good morning, sir," I murmured.

Before he could respond, a plghem filled cough filled the room. I winced. The manager finally stopped the filthy, thick coughing and groggily cleared his throat.

"I'm going to head out, now. Watch the store until I get back!" Without another word, the manager waddled out of the store, off to enjoy his weekend while I filled in for him completely. I rolled my eyes. This wasn't any different from the norm. I was one of his best workers, so he left me to watch over things and take care of the customers. Any spills? I cleaned them up. Any complaints? I had to address them. But thankfully, not many customers came in during the weekend... not to mention it was almost Christmas time. People were out at bigger stores, buying decorations and presents. The only ones who came here were the ones who wanted alcohol or snacks.

Time passed, and before I knew it, it was early afternoon. I'd finished all my homework, so I sat behind the counter, hands holding up my chin, bored out of my mind. I twirled my pencil in my hand, finding no amusement in the task, but not knowing what else to do. All I COULD do was wait for any customers. Letting out a heavy sigh, I laid down on the counter. There was nothing for me to do but wait.

 

SEUNGCHEOL'S POV

"Good morning." My mothers straight-forward voice resonated through the house as I walked down our fancy spiral staircase.

"Morning," I mumbled back, knowing that it was going to be anything but a "Good morning" having to deal with my family so early. I put my hands in my jacket pockets and walked into the Kitchen. "Any breakfast?" I asked, feeling a slight emptiness in my stomach.

My mother chuckled. "Am I a slave? Learn how to cook yourself."

I scoffed at her snotty remark, but decided to ignore it. I opened the fridge, and was dissappointed to find out that there was barely anything there. The old maid who would cook and clean for us had quit a while ago- I didn't blame them. I wouldn't want to deal with my stuck up family either.

Plus, my parents never relied on food for pleasure, but only to live. So whenever I was hungry, I had to fend for myself. 

"There's not anything I can eat." I grumbled, closing the fridge and walking away.

"You're such a spoiled little brat," My mother called to me as I was walking away. I stopped dead in my tracks. "Why can't you be more like Mingyu? He never complained about food or let the smallest things bother him. And look where he is now!" She declared, a hostile tone in her voice.

I turned around slightly to glare at my mom, but completely disregarded what she had said. It's not like I wasn't used to it.

I continued walking to the door, jacket on, phone in hand. "I'm going out," I called to my mother, and slammed the front door on my way out. I was sick and tired of my mother comparing me to Mingyu. Each and every day, she found something wrong with what I said or did. I was ready to burst with anger every time she even mentioned his name.

I shook my head. Don't think of Mingyu, I told myself. Walking down the road, I felt the cool chill of the air brush against my face. It felt nice... I needed some fresh air to calm myself down.

Without warning, I heard a sharp growl down below my torso. I held my stomach and realized that I was extremely hungry. I had been distracted, but now the empty feeling in my stomach was stronger then ever. I let out a heavy sigh and began walking down the road. I'd have to make a short trip to the convenience store to pick something up. It's not like anyone was going to cook for me back home.

Pulling my jacket up so it covered my chin, I walked a couple blocks to the convenience store, feeling the wind brush my hair side to side. I usually never went to the convenience store, having been taught by my parents that it was a cheap and disgusting place meant for the low-lives of the world. But that didn't stop the hunger from eating at my stomach. There was no other option but this. I kept walking, feeling my leg muscles tense with every step, and finally arrived at my destination. I made my way to the front and reached my arm out to open the door.

But I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw a flicker of blonde hair through the window. Was... that who I thought it was? Moving to the side of the store to get a better look, I peered through the window. Sure enough, Jeonghan was sitting there, his blonde hair tied back, looking bored behind the counter.

I felt my heart beat faster as I saw him in his shop uniform. The way it fit tightly around his torso, showing off his lean body and fitting him just right. Moving closer to the window, I looked down at his lips. They were slightly open, and I saw his tongue move around his lips to wet them. I gulped, desire flooding my body.

I went back to the front of the door and smirked, pulling the door open. A little bell above me jingled as I stepped into the store.

Looks like my morning wasn't going to be so bad after all.

 

JEONGHAN'S POV:

Time ticked by, slowly. I leaned back in my chair and licked my lips. I was about to close my eyes, when suddenly, the little bell at the door of the convenience store rung, notifying me that a customer had come in. Finally, I thought. I stood up.

"Welc-" I began to speak, but stopped dead in my tracks when I saw who had entered the store, I froze. Every muscle in my body tensed up. My eyes widened. There he was, Choi Seungcheol, in all his glory. He stared straight at me, with the infamous smirk of his. I didn't say a word... just stood there, shocked by his presence. He didn't seem fazed at all. He just kept looking at me, not once breaking eye contact as he slowly made his way to the back of the store. He didn't stop to look at anything- no, he just kept walking until he reached the back wall.

My breathing was heavy and I tried not to shake. What were the chances that my bully would come in right at the moment there was nobody else in the store? I nervously looked away, trying to avoid eye contact. I simply stood there... my hands began to tremble, and a bump arose in my throat. I gulped hard, but the bump wouldn't go away. My throat felt completely dry. I kept making the effort to swallow down my fears, but couldn't help but feel anxiety flood my mind.

"T-there's cameras," I whispered, still not looking at him. At this point, there was nothing else that would stop Choi Seungcheol other then the fact that he was being watched by recording devices. He didn't say a word- just simply leaned against the back wall, smirked, and kept staring at me.

Feeling embarrassed at his lack of response, I began to clumsily organize the items around the counter, trying to find something, anything to do that would keep me distracted from him. I could feel his eyes on me- looking me up and down, scanning every inch of my body. Shakily, I breathed in and out and tried not to look at him. His eyes bore into my soul, my body, my eyes. He wouldn't stop staring.

Suddenly, the little bell at the front of the store rang again. Thank goodness, I thought to myself, relieved that there was another customer to break the ice. I thought I was going to die of nervousness from Seungcheol's insistent staring- he seemed like a tiger, stalking his prey before he lunged. 

"W-welcome," I said to the customer. He was tall, with light brown hair gelled up so his forehead was on display. He looked as if he could be Chinese, but I wasn't entirely sure. He just grinned creepily at me, before going over to the alcohol section.

I let out a breath that I didn't even realize I was holding. It was all okay now. There was someone else here... there was nothing to be afraid of.

Though the customer definitely took his time. I watched as he scanned every alochol bottle there was in the store, as if he needed to find the perfect one to satisfy his taste. He also muttered to himself... when he realized I was watching him, he looked up towards me. My eyes widened and I looked down immediately. Feeling awkward, I took a seat in the chair behind the counter and hid myself behind the cash register.

A couple minutes passed, and the customer finally made his way to the front of the store where I shyly sat behind the counter. Upon his arrival, I stood up to greet him.

"Hello, sir." I said, putting on a fake smile.

He smirked at me. "Hey baby," he replied, leaning closer to me as he unloaded his alcohol bottles on the counter.

I blushed and looked down, feeling too embarrassed to reply. I avoided his eyes and began to scan his items. As the customer inched even closer to me, I felt Seungcheol's eyes on me and the customer from all the way at the back of the store.

Out of nowhere, the customers hand reached out and touched the bangs that were resting on the side of my face. I gasped, not expecting the sudden contact.

"You have such pretty hair," The customer purred, twirling my hair around his finger and smirking at me. I smacked his hand away.

"Thanks," I said dryly, clearly feeling uncomfortable. But it seemed like he didn't care whether I was comfortable or not. "Can I see your ID? It's store protacal."

He chuckled and moved his hand away from my hair. "Sure baby..." Slowly, he reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet. After a bit of searching, he pulled out his ID and handed it to me.

As I reached out to take his ID, I felt his fingers intentionally caress my hand as he passed it towards me. I pulled my hand away as quickly as possible, and looked down at his ID.

Wen Junhui the ID read. So he was Chinese... I knew my instinct hadn't failed me. I checked to make sure he was of age, which he clearly was, and returned his ID.

"Your total is 100,000 Won," I said, reading out the numbers on the cash register as I double bagged all the glass alcohol bottles that he'd bought. He handed me 200,000.

I put the money in the cash register and began to collect his change. Once I had gotten the right amount, I put it neatly in a stack with his receipt and handed it over to him.

"I'll let you keep the change," He smirked. "If you come outside with me and do me a little favor." He slyly winked and motioned downwards to his lower body. Blushing furiously, I kept my arm extended with the change in my hand.

"N-no thanks. Please take your change, sir."

At my response, his face contorted into an angry grimance. He hit my hand, making the money and coins fall onto the floor. I gasped and looked at my hand and the money on the floor in bewilderment.

"Screw the change," He growled, and gripped my arm tightly. "Come outside with me, right now. We're going to do what I say or you're in trouble."

"Y-you're hurting me," I whimpered. He grabbed my arm and aggressively pulled me out from behind the counter, his grip etching into my skin. He pulled my arm, trying to lead me towards the exit.

"No!" I cried, pushing against his chest in an attempt to get away from him. "Let me go!"

He finally let go, and turned towards me. I was about to let out a sigh of relief, until I saw him raise his hand. With no warning, I felt the stinging impact of the back of his hand as he smacked me across the face. The force was so strong that I tumbled to the floor, and tears welled up in my eyes at the pain and shock. 

Suddenly, I noticed someone rush forward, and saw a blur of black hair and a strong fist knock Junhui to the floor. I looked up, tears lightly blurring my vision. It was Seungcheol. His face was red with rage. "I'm going to kill you," he said to Junhui, and began kicking him in the stomach with no mercy. I heard a whimper and a gasping cough of pain coming from the ground. He kept kicking him, again and again...

I shakily stood up and grabbed Seungcheol's arm. "Please, stop it," I said to him. "He's had enough."

Seungcheol stopped kicking him and looked down at my hand gripping his arm. His vision slowly rose from my arm, to me. He faced me completely. Still in a rage, he growled and roughly shoved me up against the nearest wall in the convenience store. I held my breath and he held me firm against the wall, his narrowed eyes staring into mine.

"I'm the only one that can hurt you," He said, his voice raspy and deep. "You're mine. Do you understand?"

Feeling my heart begin to beat faster, I forgot the situation I was in. I forgot that Junhui was on the ground, holding his stomach in immense pain. I forgot that Seungcheol had just beat him up after he had tried to bring me outside against his will. All I could think of was how Seungcheol's big hands were holding my shoulders, pinning me against the wall. How he was so close to me, his legs were entangled in mine. How his narrowed eyes stared at me with a feeling of lust and possession. Forgetting anything else, I let go of my morals. All I had to do was submit to him. Without any more hesitation, I nodded at him.

"Yes," I whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Third chapter will be posted shortly! Please do comment and leave kudos, it motivates me to write a lot more. Thanks!


	3. Everything changed

SEUNCHEOL'S POV

I had forgotten everything- everything that I've ever lived by. You're of an elite class, so don't go falling in love with a low life. Understand? My parents voice resonated through my mind. All my life, I've been told to believe that most people in this world aren't worthy. That those who live low class lives are useless, and only good for serving and caring for the more fortunate.

Yet here I was, desperately in love with someone who was by no means elite. But I didn't care about his status or money. To me, he was the most beautiful man that I've ever laid eyes on.

He was so beautiful, and I wanted him so much, that when I saw someone else try and claim him- try to take him away- anger and possessiveness flooded through my body, putting me into a rage that made me let go of all my morals and follow my instincts.

It caused me to nearly go mad. I couldn't stop myself from hurting the disgusting and inferior man on the floor, using all the strength in my leg to kick him in the stomach. I was furious at the thought that scum like him dare touch Jeonghan or hurt him in any way. I was the only one who could hurt Jeonghan... I was the only one who could love Jeonghan.

My instincts took over when I angrily pushed Jeonghan against the wall. I didn't think twice before telling him that I was the only one who could hurt him, that he was mine. Seeing his eyes widen in shock, his lips slightly part, and a blush rise up on his cheeks... I felt like I was going to go crazy with desire.

I heard him whisper... "Yes." And I felt chills arise in every inch of my body. My grip tightened and I stood there, staring into his eyes, trying to fight myself from kissing him right then and there.

But before I could do a thing, a loud groan coming from the floor broke me out of my current state. I released Jeonghan and looked towards the floor where the customer lay, holding his stomach in pain.

Anger bubbled through my veins, but not as horrificly severe as it was earlier. I was simply disgusted with his presence.

"Get out, before I change my mind." I growled at him. His now swollen eyes widened, and the fear I saw pleased me greatly. He made an effort to get up by grabbing a shelf right next to him, and gradually pulled himself up while moaning in pain. He gripped his stomach and limped over to the door, taking one last chance to glower at me before quickly exiting the store. I watched him through the window and he shakily walked away, his expression contorting into one of immense pain.

After making sure that he was out of sight, my gaze went back to Jeonghan. He was still against the wall, very clearly in shock from the situation. Ignoring his bewildered expression, I slowly walked towards him, leaning forward so that I was as close as possible and could feel his body against mine. I reached my hand out and softly stroked his cheek.

"Don't forget what I said," I demanded, a slight smile arising on my face. He didn't say a word, but I could feel his heart pounding as I pressed up against him.

I brushed the bangs away from his face, and then promptly backed away. I still felt the hunger throbbing in my stomach... and remembered why I had originally come here. I started looking around the store. The first thing that caught my eye was a tuna sandwich, so I grabbed it off the shelf. I pulled out 50,000 won and slipped it into Jeonghan's uniform pocket.

"Keep the change," I smirked at him and made my way to the front of the store, leaving Jeonghan in a state of confusion and shock at the events that just unfolded.

Time to head home, I thought, wondering what my parents would think if they knew I had just put my claim on low class scum, which is how they would refer to him. But I didn't care. I just remembered the look of shock on Jeonghan's face as I told him he was mine. He could take that sentence however he wanted to... He just needed to know that I was the only one who could have him.

 

JEONGHAN'S POV:

Breathing heavily, I suddenly realized everything that had just happened. The events that happened just a few minutes ago... They all replayed in my mind like an old projector, flapping through images and creating a story.

Seungcheol coming into the store and intently watching me... Junhui, a customer, trying to force me to go outside with him against my will. Seungcheol becoming angry, beating Junhui up in a fit of rage, and then pushing me against the wall... Telling me that he was the only one who could hurt me... That I was his.

I gulped down the lust I felt for him, thinking of how strong he was, how he protected me... How he claimed me. It was so different from the usual facade he put on, so different from the humiliating acts that he would inflict on me in front of his friends.

Shaking the thoughts out of my head, I noticed the spots of blood that stained the floor from Junhui, and instantly became nervous. I needed to clean up this mess before the manager returned... The clock was already reaching late afternoon. The manager was known to come back around this time, checking to see that everything was okay or if I needed assistance. There was no way in hell I would let him know about anything that had just happened.

Quickly, I went to the back storage room and retrieved the mop and a bucket of water. After collecting the necessary materials to clean the floor, I furiously mopped the blood stains, working my arms back and forth, until the floor was shimmering. With my hard work, there was absolutely no evidence that anything had happened. All I could do was pray that the manager wouldn't be checking the cameras anytime soon.

As if he just read my mind, the manager walked into the store the moment I was done clearing up the floor. I let out a sigh, relieved that he had come just as the blood was gone.

"Hi, Sir," I said, smiling as if everything was normal. I put the mop in the bucket of now red water and pushed it against a shelf, wiping a bead of sweat off my forehead. "I was just cleaning up a spill... Some kid dropped their fruit punch," I laughed nervously, hoping that he wouldn't be suspicious.

He chuckled. Those darned kids!" He said, his stomach bouncing up and down every time he laughed. "Thanks for taking care of it."

"Y-yeah, it's no problem sir." I replied, feeling extremely nervous and unsure, even though I knew the manager was too dim-witted and lazy to care or suspect anything. "Let me go put the mop back in the back storage room," I told him, and reached for the mop and bucket. Without waiting for his response, I rolled the cleaning materials away.

Once I reached the storage room, I sighed and slid down against the wall. I still couldn't believe what had happened today. Everything was so weird... Seungcheol was... So different.

Suddenly, at the thought of Seungcheol, my heart began to beat. I gripped my chest, confused at my feelings. His face just kept replaying in my mind like a broken record player.

I jumped as my phone buzzed rapidly in my back pocket, breaking me out of my passionate thoughts. I put my hand on my heart, having been startled by the sudden noise. After taking a deep breath, I quickly retrieved the flip phone and opened it up. Jihoon, the screen read. I immediately answered the phone.

"Hello?" I said, worried that something might have gone wrong over at the orphanage.

"H-hyung!" Jihoons desperate was loud, and echoed through the phone. "You have to come home, now!"

There it was, I thought. I was hoping to get through the day without any incidents, but it clearly wasn't going to happen. Anxiety went through my veins. "What's going on?" I said nervously, expecting the worst.

"Chan is being adopted!" Jihoon cried, sounding like he was a nervous wreck. "You need to come!"

My eyes widened at the news I had heard Jihoon say through the phone. Chan was being adopted... My dongsaeng that I had looked after ever since he was a little boy...

This couldn't be happening. Too many strange things were happening today... it wasn't normal..

I hung up the phone and stood up. Without thinking, I began to run.

"Sir, I need to go! It's important!" I said to the manager, and as fast as possible, I rushed throughout the store to the front entrance. The last thing I heard was the little bell jingling at the top of the door, then everything else was a blur.

As I ran, I could only hear my heavy breathing and my heart pounding furiously. I needed to get to the orphanage. I needed to... Get... To the orphanage...

Though my body was telling me to stop running, telling me that it couldn't handle it, my muscles tensing and throbbing and my head pulsing with every movement... my mind betrayed me. It told me to keep running. I couldn't stop, I couldn't stop now. I needed to go see Chan.

Why was everything suddenly changing?

 

SEUNCHEOL'S POV:

I arrived home shortly after leaving the convenience store. As I walked home in the chilly weather, I took the empty time as an opportunity to down the sandwich I had grabbed. After it was down my throat and into my stomach, my hunger automatically ceased. I felt satisfied... and although I didn't want to face my parents again, I felt a surge of excitement go through my body at the thought of my disobeying them. That's right- I was gay, and in love with someone who wasn't an elite. I'd never reveal it, so there'd be nothing they could do to stop me. Smirking, I scanned my fingerprint at the front gate and opened the elegant doors at the entrance of our mansion.

The moment I stepped inside, a delicious scent wafted up my nose and there was no denying that what I was smelling was fresh cooking. I strode into the kitchen, curiously wondering who was cooking and why it smelled so delicious.

To my surprise, my mother and father were both standing in the kitchen- my mother had an apron on, and was carefully steaming some noodles. My father was holding a knife in his hand and chopping vegetables on a cutting board. Why were they cooking now, when my mom seemed disgusted at the thought of it earlier? I was shocked at their sudden interest.

My mother heard me walk into the room, and stopped steaming for a quick moment to turn around and look at me. "You're finally home. It took you long enough," She complained, and promptly went back to cooking.

I rolled my eyes. "Why the hell are you two cooking in the first place?" I questioned them, hostility evident in my voice. I wanted an explanation, and I wanted it now.

My father stopped cutting the vegetables, and menacingly walked up to me.

"Don't speak to us that way," He glowered and stood, towering over me. He was an intimidating man- and I knew when he was being serious.

I stepped back and grumbled. "Sorry... Then... why are you two cooking?" I changed my tone, feeling a bit nervous.

My mother turned back around. "You would've known if you hadn't stormed out of the house earlier like a child. I didn't even get the chance to tell you that Mingyu's coming home for Christmas. He'll be here this evening." A bright smile arose on my mothers face.

I gagged on my own saliva as I heard the words that just came out of my mother's mouth. "M-Mingyu's coming home for Christmas?!" I repeated, as if I was trying to convince myself that what she had just said was true.

I laughed quietly in denial, and backed up. "You're lying..." I whispered. "You're lying." I said again, more firmly this time, as if they were just pulling an evil prank on me. It couldn't be true.

My mother let out a high-pitched chuckle, as if she thought that what I said was hilarious. "Are you worried that your Hyung will be dissappointed in the man you've become? Even I'm ashamed that you didn't turn out more like him," She said blatantly, with no regard to my feelings.

I felt a sting to my heart as I heard her insult me. And compare me. This was the reason, the one reason, why I couldn't see Mingyu right now. I'm still finding myself. I can't have him interfering in that.

Not giving my parents even a second to finish their rotten thoughts about me, I shakily ran to the staircase and went up as fast as possible. I couldn't be with my parents right now.

I couldn't handle this.

 

JEONGHAN'S POV

I flung the doors of the orphanage open, huffing aggressively, sweat pouring down my face despite the cold. My once neat hair was now disheveled, frizzy and flung in every direction from the vicious winds outside. I leaned down and rested my arms on my knees, relaxing my tired body after the long and frantic run.

I sighed in relief as I saw Chan and Jihoon with the owner and two unfamiliar people in the living room of the orphanage. After catching my breath, I moved as fast as possible from the front door to the inside.

As soon as I got there, Chan raced over to me and embraced me, wrapping his small arms around my stomach and digging his face into my body. "Hyung!" He cried, tears streaming down his face. "Hyung," He called out to me again, desperation in his voice. "I don't wanna leave you. Please don't leave me."

I saw the manager snarl. His eyes were swollen and he looked out of it, most likely side-effects of his hangover. I ignored him for a moment, and tightly held Chan. I didn't want to let him go.

"Let him go," Mister finally demanded after me and Chan had been hugging for a good 30 seconds. Whenever people came in to adopt, it was paradise for the owner. Just one less kid to deal with, quoting the exact words that came out of his mouth. He was truly a sick man.

I gently pushed Chan away, but kept my hands on his shoulders. I leaned down to face him. "Chan. It's going to be okay. Everything will be okay." I looked into his watery eyes, trying my best to assure him that he would end up alright. In a way, I was also trying to convince myself.

I looked towards Mister. "Can I have a word with Chan's adoptive parents? Please." I asked, pleading for him to just give me a bit of time.

He grumbled softly, enough so that only I could hear it. "Fine," He eventually muttered, stepping back and leaning against the wall.

"Chan, just wait a moment. Okay?" I spoke softly to him, and stroked his head. "Just go sit over there for just a second."

He hesitated, looking at me with sad eyes. Wiping his tears, he nodded. He took a shaky breath and followed my directions, retreating to a corner of the room.

Before approaching Chan's new parents, I smoothed my hair down so I looked somewhat presentable. I nervously walked up to them. They were both men, one noticeably taller then the other. The taller one had brown hair and narrow eyes, and the shorter one had blonde hair and small eyes as well. A Homosexual couple? Maybe they were just friends who lived together. Shaking the thoughts out of my head, I introudced myself.

I bowed politely, facing both of them. "Hello, my name is Jeonghan. I'm the eldest Hyung in the orphanage." I smiled, waiting for their response.

The smaller one bowed back. "It's nice to meet you, Jeonghan. We know you don't want to part ways with your dongsaeng, but we think Chan would be an amazing addition to our family. We've always wanted to look after a young boy and watch him grow," he smiled, clinging onto the other mans arm. By this point, there was no doubt that they were a couple.

"Most definitely," Said the taller one. "And don't worry, you're leaving him in very capable hands. We both have steady incomes and a decent household. I think he would fit in very well."

"He'll warm up to us quickly! We can't help but spoil children... so we thought it was best to have our very own child to spoil," the blonde gently said, reassuring me.

I let out a sigh of relief, already getting the feeling that they were good people. Chan would be left in good hands. "I'm relieved," I sighed, letting out a breath of air. "He really deserves the best parents. I'm already sensing that you guys will be an amazing fit."

The blonde grinned, happy with my response. "I'm so glad you think so! Oh, and I almost forgot to introduce us!" He laughed, and pointed to his boyfriend. "This is Seokmin." His hand dropped down to his side and he introduced himself. "And I'm Soonyoung."

I nodded. "Soonyoung, Seokmin... please take good care of my Chan. He deserves the entire world and more. Please give him a happy life," I requested, nervously clasping my hands together.

They nodded. "Of course," Seokmin said. "And please, feel free to visit him any time. Do you want my phone number?" He asked, taking out a phone from his pocket.

"Yes please," I replied, taking out my flip phone. He recited his number to me, and after I inputed his number, I felt a huge wave of relief wash over me. Everything really was going to be okay. Chan would have a good life with good people. My throat became dry at the realization that I wouldn't see his smiling face greeting me when I came home from school everyday, but I knew that he was better off without me. He was better off with real parents.

I went over to Chan after the conversation I had with his new parents. He was still sniffling in the corner. I leaned down, and carressed his cheek gently.

"Chan... they're good people. You're going to have amazing parents. And I'm going to visit you a lot, okay? So please... go with them," I asked him, trying to hide the desperation in my voice.

He quickly stood up, and said the same words I had just heard a mere two days ago. "I believe you, Hyung." His quiet voice made my heart clench. I was surprised at how easily he gave in, but also relieved that he didn't put up a fight. This was better for him. For his future.

I led him over to his new parents, who were now busy signing forms that the owner had laid out for them. We waited for a couple minutes, until we saw the sly smile on Mister's face once Soonyoung and Seokmin administered their last signature.

"He's all yours," Mister chuckled, taking the paperwork and organizing it into a neat stack.

I looked at Chan one last time, and leaned down. I embraced him and kissed his forehead. It was a short hug, but one of the most memorable and meaningful that we had ever shared.

After the embrace, Soonyoung leaned down and gently clasped Chan's hand in his. "Come along now dear," Soonyoung's pleasant voice seemed to convince Chan. As they reached the door, Chan looked back at me one last time. One last time, his beautiful eyes stared into mine. One last time, we shared the pain, darkness, and loneliness of this horrid, filthy orphanage. One last time.

The doors suddenly creaked closed. They were gone. Chan was gone.

A tear slowly rolled down my cheek.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys ^_^ Kyra here, posting my fanfiction "Does he love me?" on Archive of our own. I originally posted this work-in-progress on AsianFanfics- you can find it there under the same name. I will soon be posting it on Wattpad under the username "KyraKpop." Thank you guys for reading! You can expect a chapter once every week, most likely sooner then that. Enjoy.


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